Tears. Smiles. Dancing. Weeping. Loving. Loneliness. Looking back. Looking forward. Remembering. Forgetting. Singing. Screaming. Meditating. Praying. One step forward. One step back. Thank you’s, and I’m sorry’s. Forgiving. And gratitude. For… All of the feelings. For growth. For standing still. For Resting. For moving on. Thank You This thank is long overdue, and I am deeply sorry about that. It…
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Life After Suicide
Good Glass
Even now… I’m looking through “good glass.” I wrote this blog a long time ago but never posted it. It doesn’t matter what task(s) I perform throughout the day- from making the bed to washing the dishes or sweeping the floor. I always try and make them more pleasant than I was taught to believe they were. The chores, the…
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Tipping the Scale
It is getting easier. I’m starting to tip the scale; I can feel it. When I walk through “JOE’S BEACH,” which I’ve been doing every day, I’m not consumed with ‘only’ thoughts of him. My mind is going to other places, too. It’s forward-thinking, it’s dreaming, it’s believing, it’s knowing that God has a plan and a purpose for my life. And…
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The Healing House
That’s what I’m calling this place now…my home- because that’s what’s happening here. It’s happening because we’re giving ourselves permission to say all the things– out loud while looking at each other, face-to-face. Things we’ve never said before- to anyone else. Words we’ve barely been able to utter… even to ourselves. Things that need to be said for the wounds…
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On My Knees
My life has changed a lot since I wrote this—many, many weeks ago (where is the time going?) Joe was still here. I was doing my best to stay focused and in a state of gratitude, not fear. (I still am.) I was shielding him from what was happening in the world by not sharing everything I was receiving in my inbox and reading…
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