When I started thinking about 2020 last year it was with hope and anticipation of what the year would hold. I was calling it (and still am) the year of clarity. But holy WOW…who knew? Who knew we would be this steeped in both clarity and confusion?
This situation is spiritual.
I’m feeling joy and doubt simultaneously. I, for one, have been in conflict within myself. Forced to do something I never (really) thought we’d be doing- online ONLY sales. We’re travelers; wanderers, free-spirit-junkies and we don’t sit still for long. Yet we have been forced, now, to STOP! Anytime there’s an inner conflict, it’s about spirit. I think the most significant enemy always comes from within.
One minute I’m pissed off and ready to explode -or punch someone in the face (kidding/not kidding), and the next minute I’m in a complete state of joy and wonder. I am allowing the feelings and emotions to flow through me and over me like water. Dr. Wayne Dyer always said we should be soft like water. Christ-like. Buddha-like. See the cracks and let the light shine through. I think that’s a beautiful way to live.
I deleted my Facebook profile 14 months ago with no intention of EVER getting back on that platform. And now I feel as though I’m being forced to since we’re not meeting face-to-face, currently. And that gives me unrest and anxiety. But it also makes me excited about the possibilities that are there! I mean like REALLY enthusiastic about getting back to a FB business page.
We’re creating from a space of “allowing” and putting everything we have on the table. Trying it -even if we don’t know how it will end- isn’t that what we’re doing every day, anyway? We don’t know how a day will end- EVER. All we can do is set our intention, believe, and have faith. Trusting (that’s a whole other subject) but, in the end, I trust that everything will work out because it ALWAYS does.
New ideas are flooding my mind by the minute. I am at my MOST creative junction; I’m stretching myself and executing better and faster than I ever have. I’m eager to wake up- get up and get moving. More hours, please! I’m holding myself accountable. It’s forced me to examine my perspective on life and business. I like to stay open to possibility and to ask the more in-depth, open-ended questions. The inquiry must happen for the re-birth to take place. Right?
What needs to be born out of this? Out of the earth? Out of this crisis?
Is it possible? Of course, it is- all things are possible! I have forgiven, I have prayed, I have meditated. That has been my biggest take away so far; show up, do the work, stay present; stay open; and remember that we are all going through our own struggles, dealing with our own fears. We are each on a separate journey.
Our purpose on this earth is not the same. Thank God, right!?
We will all continue to get up and put one foot in front of the other to start each new day. The circumstance does not dictate the response. That’s always a choice. I hope that it will be with compassion, love, generosity, and kindness. I know that’s what I’m choosing, even if it’s only in this moment—one moment at a time (and not punching anyone in the face.)
What will it be like when we start to gather again, to touch, to hug, to respond to one another? Only God knows. We are all deeply connected in a way that is both profound and full of mystery. It doesn’t matter what we believe about the situation. It’s an opportunity to course-correct—an invitation to look around and pay attention. The paradigm is shifting. That is abundantly clear.
Life is a dance, right? We have to allow ourselves to slow, to pause, to take a breath. (I say allow, but sometimes it does feel forced.) There has to be time to reflect, to analyze, to check-in. What worked? What didn’t? That means looking at all the things; big & small. That is the balance—time to breathe. Consciously breathing means being present in the moment. For me, that’s meditation. (sit. stay.)
I love where I am, creatively. I have asked this question before; what if this is here FOR US? (all of us) and I believe it is. Just be willing to consider it. There must be compromise for growth to happen. We can’t always have it our way. This inner conflict is quite extraordinary. I am going to go deeper into it and see if I can find a “happy” medium.
No matter where you are right now, be kind to yourself. Do what you can to get through the day in the best way possible. Be kind to others and show compassion for where we each are in the stream of time and space. We have been deeply divided. Friends, families, and the world as a whole. I’ve changed my mind on many things throughout my life and this experience has been no different. I’m questioning EVERYTHING I thought I knew and EVERYTHING that’s being said.
“My truth matters simply because it exists. Scratching beneath the surface with logical questions is NOT a radical act.”Dr. Kelly Brogan
This is an exciting time—a re-organization of energy. I can’t help but feel invigorated. I want to thrive through this. Ond day, one thought at a time. I keep reminding myself that I have the answers- I believe that- and so do you. We all have our version of the truth and what is happening. Is it merely giving up the need to be right that is causing the inner-struggle? Possibly. I’m staying open, optimistic, steadfast, and looking forward. A new normal will emerge.
What’s pushing up against you? You’re welcome, as always, to share your thoughts if you’d like.
Peace. Always, peace.
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